December 30, 2010


Salam all.. Fwahhhhhh.. This will be my LAST post for 2010.. N I successfully achieve 15 posts this year yeah!!!! (quite few eh? =,=).. Hahahaha.. Well, when my post was 13, I know I MUST go for 15. Why 15? Well, 15 is a lucky number :D (I know I'm superstitious haha)so here I am - at the fifteenth post :)

Well, in this post, I'm not going to write any dramas, narratives or poems. I'm also not doing any cookings for this one. However, I'm gonna share some of my drawings.. I'm not really good at drawing and I know my cartoons are not that good but drawing is one of my hobbies and I enjoy doing it. So, what the heck :)

This is my "goodbye 2010" cartoon. This is the worst actually. Haha.. I only got some blunt pencils to draw (without a sharpener) so when I draw cartoon as little as this one, it really sucks.

Okay, I learnt not to draw small-sized cartoons when all I have is blunt pencils :D Well, talking about learning; throughout this year, I really learnt a lot actually - through all my mistakes, all the bitterness and all the kindness. 2010 brings a lot of memories - good and bad; but all beneficial. We must learn to cherish good ones and accept bad ones. Good memories help us stay positive and optimistic while bad memories gives us the strength to be better.

Life is a piece of paper. We are the ones to draw what we want. If it looks bad, accept that fact and try to do better :D Woahhh, enough 'philosophy-ing' Ap, enough! Anyway, I haven't drawn anything for quite a long time so I'm rusted. Better sharpen my skills! - and pencils =,=

Goodbye 2010 and Welcome 2011. Thank you everyone - for being in my life. Let's hope for the best tomorrows..

December 29, 2010

"Parti Nanas Anda" - A Tale of Pineapple Mishap

Salam all! Haha.. *Coughs.. The Malay title is taken from a friend of mine - Shafiq Azid. Why? Well, there's no actual reasons; but he seems to be in love with pineapples or "nanas"(his current profile photo on Facebook is a pineapple).

Anyway, I tried to create a pineapple-based dish but it turned into a quasi-disaster - the sauce!! It was too sweeettttt *sighs. Anyway, I think I got a solution for it but i haven't done it. So, why don't we all try it together later? (I'm talking about the "less-sweetened" one - is there such word?).

Nevermind that, these are what we need: Pineapple Juice, Tangerine (this is 'asam jawa' right?), Honey, Prawns, Squids, Onions, Capsicums, Black Pepper Sauce, Black Pepper, BBQ Sauce, Margarine, Salt, Broccoli, Cheddar Cheese, Bread Crumbs, Mayonnaise.

First, grill some squids which had been marinated with pineapple juice, tangerine, honey and salt (marinate them for half a day).

Then, grill some prawns. just sprinkle some salt and pepper on the prawns. Put the squids and the prawns aside.

Now comes the disaster part - the sauce. Previously, I put some pineapple juice, black pepper, black pepper sauce, BBQ sauce, capsicums, salts, AND CRUSHED PINEAPPLE (gatai sgt tudia laa). Yup, the mistake was that I put crushed pineapple slices which are as SWEET as HELL. So, we should just leave the crushed pineapple because it will ruin the taste. Put the sauce aside.

Okay, we're now making the side dish and let me tell you this; I lovee it - Broccoli Cheese Bites! I got the idea of using broccoli from my mom and went through some cooking websites to get this one but I can't seem to remember the name. Anyway, first, put some broccoli in boiling water for about 5 minutes.

In a pan, melt some cheddar cheese(or any cheese you prefer).

Then, coat the broccoli with the melted cheese and roll them in bread crumbs. The broccoli should now be covered in cheese and breadcrumbs. After a 2 or 3 minutes, deep-fry your Broccoli Cheese Bites.

Tadadaaa~ Seafood Pineapple Sweet Sauce with Broccoli Cheese Bites.. And i'm posing in my 'metal pose' which i think is cool even though Suhaibmon is saying I don't look cool with it.

Haha, En.Ciput is enjoying it.

Looks can be deceiving. Even though the sauce was QUASI-disastrous, if you arrange your meal properly, this is what happens.

Try it!! Especially the Broccoli Cheese Bites!!! :D

Baking with Ap and Nieces :D

Salam again! hahahaha.. Well, this mid-sem break really gives me the time to cook and bake my hearts out.. Hahahaha (laughing as I pretend to forget the unfinished assignments =,=) Anyway, I'm gonna share with u a very special yet simple recipe of mine - Chocolate Nut Cookies. This recipe was actually given by Mak Cik Siti who helped me with my LIT paper during SPM. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! :D

These are wut u need ; Margarine, Castor Sugar, Egg, Milo, Nuts (of any kind), Cocoa, Chocolate Rice, Chocolate Chips, Wheat Flour, Hon Kwee Flour.

First, beat 340g of margarine with 200g of castor sugar.

Haha, these are my labours (coughs) I mean, nieces.. Beat it until the mixture seems a little bit fluffy but not TOO fluffy since we're not baking cakes!

next, add in AN EGG. Yup! Only ONE egg - so, this recipe is good for those who are controlling their diet except the fact that we've already put 340g of margarine :D Put that aside.

Now, let's focus on Mixture B (Suddenly there's A and B). If you've bought whole nuts, crush them like I did - but remember, don't crush them into powder; just until they become coarse.

Well, this makes things easier. Hahahaha.. Anyway, keep in mind that we're free to choose ANY kinds of nuts - groundnuts, cashews, almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts, etc.

There's the 7 spoons of Milo, 7 spoons of chocolate rice, 7 spoons of crushed nuts, some choc chips (optional) and a teaspoon of cocoa powder.

Now, add in 340g of wheat flour and a tube of Hon Kwee flour. When buying Hon Kwee flour, make sure u're buying whether white or yellow Hon Kwee flour ONLY. I'd mistakenly bought GREEN HK flour and it looks really creepy =,= (even though it's not that visible) Anyway, mix everything thoroughly.

Okay, now we can 'unite' both mixtures - A and B. Mix thoroughly.

When both mixtures have been mixed well, it will look like this - a creepy greenish looking cookie dough. hahaha

We can now shape the cookies. Make sure the cookies are not too thick or too thin because their thickness influence the period they should be baked. Put a chocolate chip on top of it - just for fun :D

Hahahahaha.. The cookies are sooooooo uneven (I'm talking about the shape haha) :D

Bake the cookies from 15 to 30 minutes - depending on the thickness.

Ahahaha.. This is the result :D :D :D

En. Ciput is enjoying it! hahaha

Okay, this is what happens when you watch TV while you're baking cookies.

Try it guys!! Salam! :D

December 26, 2010

Cooking with Ap :D

Salam all.. Now this post is REALLY DIFFERENT (This may be the 100th time I said that but trust me this time). Haha.. Last time, I made a poem about Food and Poop. This time, I'm only going to talk about Food (No Poops :D) so, let me share with u my Mint Carbonara Chicken with Mushroom :D (Cooking's always been my hobby by the way)

Okay, these are what u need ; Chicken, Grey Oyster Mushrooms, Mint, Onions, Garlic, Black Pepper, Parsley Flakes, Rosemary, Salt, Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO), Mayonnaise, Fried Chicken Flour, and of course, Prego's Carbonara Spaghetti Sauce.

First, "tumis" the onions and garlic with some EVOO (I can't seem to find the word for "tumis" so I just put it there.. haha.. or is it saute?)

Okay, now the pieces of chickens can be fried - with salt, parsley flakes and pepper of course. No need to really cook it because we're going to deep-fry it later anyways.

When the chicken seems golden enough, add in some grey oyster mushroom. Ahaaa, this is why we're not directly deep-frying the chickens - to make the mushroom flavours seep into the chickens' flesh :) After the chickens and mushroom seem fried enough, put them aside because we're going to prepare the sauce :D

Ahaaaa, Prego time! hahaha

To make the sauce, use Prego. Add some pepper, salt, parsley flakes, rosemary, and not to forget, some mints. Oh ya, after the sauce seems ok, add some mayonnaise.

Put the sauce aside and let's get back to the chickens :D Coat the pieces of chicken with mayonnaise and then coat them with some fried chicken flour. Yum right? okay, let's deep-fry them now.

Pour the sauce on the chickens and present them. This is the result yeah! The lighting is a little bit off but believe me, it's yummy! Waittt!!

Tadaaaaa - Mint Carbonara Chicken with Mushroom. I figured that if I present it myself, it looks more interesting n delicious.. Haha

En.Ciput is enjoying it! haha

This is what happened after a few seconds (okay, I'm bragging haha)

Try it guyz! :D

December 25, 2010

Kedah Blogger - That's ME!

Salam all... Okay, this post will be totally different from my other posts... Why? Well, I'm writing this for Well, I just found out about BPM through Pip's blog. the guys from BPM had an interesting idea which caught my attention - "Kategori Sahabat Blogger Mengikut Negeri" or categorizing bloggers according to state of residence. Thus, this is basically the reason for the entry of this post - connecting with other bloggers from Kedah.

Well, name defines a person. As for me, well, choose for yourselves - Ap, Cerap,
Acap, Serap, Asyrap, etc. (Those are wut I've been known as)


Currently using 3 e-mails - each bearing different histories and significances.

Living in Langgar, Alor Setar. Nothing special here - but hey, it's my home. The image below is Kedah (yeah right).

But but but, this is still my blog so I don't feel comfortable writing just that. So here's an original from me.

(This has meanings - seriously)

December 24, 2010

Food and Poop

Salam all, I have a 4-lined poem to share with you. It's very simple but it's very meaningful to me :)

I see a table – full with food,
Munch, munch, munch – including the soup,
3 hours later, I feel the need to poop,
The food was good; but i still can't flush the poop.

Okay, you must be wondering, why the hell did I write this one? Well, this poem actually reflects the current situation of my life. As you all might have known (or not), I am in my second semester; and know this, even though food's been good, this semester is really full of un'flush'able poop :D the whole 'Pregnant Pause' drama thingy, the weight gain thingy, the car thingy, the exam thingy, the bye2-money thingy (no need to go into details :D). But hey, we can't expect a perfect life can we? I just hope that everyone always bear this in mind - if our toilets clog, don't ever stop plunging and flushing our poops away.

Savour every bite you take because eventually, you'll have to go to the toilet.
Be happy, be positive, be ready to be unhappy :)

November 20, 2010

"Saya Budak Gemok" - I'm a Fat Boy

I think this is the first 'official' true story about me =,= enjoy!

It was when I was 11 that I first realized that I have become a ‘budak gemok’, a tubby, a fattie, an ugly boy. Initially, being fat did not bother me - most probably because I was still a kid and appearance did not really matter much back then. However, when I entered ‘sekolah menengah rendah’ or middle school, I began to feel uneasy with my look. While I may look happy and carefree all the time, I was really emotionally depressed – I hated the way I look, I hated the way people look at me, I hated myself. No one knew or cared about the state of my mind at that time but honestly, I don’t blame them because I myself didn’t show any dissatisfaction about my body – most probably because I was ashamed that I was ashamed of myself.

It was after my 14th birthday that I decided to lose weight for real. I tried all the diet routines but I couldn’t really follow because I was always hungry - failure. I tried cardio-exercising but it became half-baked efforts since I was never into physical activities - failure. I even tried getting myself into sports but that was even more ridiculous and of course, to no avail - failure. At that point, I felt like a real sore LOSER – a BIG FAT UGLY LOSER who can’t do anything right. My self-esteem was zero. With additional ‘moral supports’ from people around me saying things like ‘gemok’, ‘tembon’, ‘tembam’ which all means fat, my self esteem dropped from 0 to -273.15.

“Salvation” came knocking when one day; I ate so much that I needed to vomit. Yes, I really needed to vomit. Don’t get me wrong; I always overate to the point that I felt like vomiting but this time, it was beyond only feeling like vomiting – I actually went to the toilet and vomited. After that incident, every time I felt the slightest need to vomit, I would force myself to vomit. It came to a point that feeling full became a reason for me to vomit. The decreasing reading on the weighing scale became a motivation for me to keep on doing the thing I felt right – my conscience was fooled; my foolish act was justified.

After a few weeks, the rate of my weight loss started to decrease and I was panicking. From around 1 or 2kg per week, the weight loss was becoming less than 1kg per week – and that was when I started starving myself. As far as I remembered, if there was no weight loss, I would eat so little until my weight really dropped – and when I say ‘eat so little’, I mean to a point where I would eat a piece of bread and some veggies a day; and starvation usually lasted 2 or 3 days. After some times, I couldn’t keep up anymore with all my ‘weight loss plans’ – I was always hungry, I was constantly tired and I was never satisfied with my weight loss.

Yet, I still keep myself strong and tried to find new supplements to my weight loss routine. The supplements include eating acidic food, cutting down carbohydrates and of course, abusing laxatives. Yes, I was also involved in the notorious act of laxative abuse – yeah! During the weekends, I would steal some of sister’s so-called herbal tea which acts exactly like laxatives and spend most of my time in the toilet. I was so happy that I found ways to make myself thinner that I never realized how stupid and dangerous all the things I was doing were, especially laxative abuse.

Eventually, one day, I got caught. I can’t really recall who saw me vomiting that day but that person told my brother what I was doing and he told me that I was having a psychological problem. Psychological problem? I didn’t believe him, or to be exact, I didn’t want to believe him but still, I looked up about the whole psycho thing and found out that he was right – I was bulimic. I wanted to believe that I was losing weight the right way but the evidences were too clear and hence, I had to admit my mistakes and change my ways.

Surprisingly, it was really easy. I found a new diet routine - high-protein diet. The diet was really easy to follow since I still get to eat my favourites. However, as time passes by, I slowly began to forget controlling my diet. I am now getting fatter and fatter and it really should stop! I will try to lose weight again and this time, I’ll practice the right way from the start. I really don’t want to be ‘budak gemok’ anymore.

I did not write this post so that more people will try what I did - I don't deny, it worked but it's dangerous people. I've written this post so that those who are practicing bulimic acts like I used to will know when to stop.

p/s: this picture is really 'xleh blah' :P

November 18, 2010

Sonnet 665 "Help"

Salam... I'm really 'sudah gila' for writing this poem.. anyway, this is a really simple poem - no fancy words n stuff... I wanna name it sonnet 666 but it's not dark or satisfying enough (for some embarrassing reasons)... anyway, i think i'll write another sonnet next time and name it sonnet 666... btw, this sonnet may not be what it seems to be.. there may be hidden/subliminal messages... hahaha22

You are the dagger; stabbing my heart,
Leaking lovelorn love that hides in the form of liquid sin,
The sweetest sin I desire; a merciful compassion
That walks me on a road with no moon,

With hands full of warmth,
And smiles made me numb and dumb,
While shards stepped on felt nothing,
Speechless by sincerity, muted by sympathy,

Suffocated happiness await forever in questions,
Your mind is nothing but inspiration,
Your heart is nothing but admiration,
Your body is nothing but perfection,

Help - because I can’t help myself anymore,
Help – because I am helpless against you

November 17, 2010

School School School

Salam all... I just noticed that my blog has WAYYY TOO MUCH WORDS so I'm changing my blo(g)rientation... Zzz.. Anyway, last nite, I passed by my old school n remembered a video I made for English club... the video was actually for an inter-club video-making competition; but of course, i got disqualified because the video is not Islamic enough and is so-called too political... Well, that's life for me.. enjoy d vid :)

Missing my dramatic high school :)

November 9, 2010

Pregnant Pause "Version 6.69b"

Salam.. I'm so tired, sleepy and depressed at the same time. Why tired and sleepy? I've been staying up for two nights already altering 'Pregnant Pause'. Why depreseed? Well, the singing parts in the play are cancelled =,= Sighs, that's 1+ week of working HARD on the songs with Qis and Fieza wasted. 'Yeay!' I'll upload the songs we sang during the rehearsals though. -,- So now I'm eatingggg again to 'un-depress' myself with Alip, Syafiq, Di, n 'Hazue'.. So, this is the result of my alteration. Zzz.. Sad..

By Asyraf Syahir

Initiate (Pride) - Hakim
The Associate - Asyraf (Not me)
The Mastermind (Greed)- Am
The Advocate (Envy)- Hatim
The Hypocrite (Sloth)- Syidi
The Evolutionist (Gluttony)- Alip
The Lady (Lust)- Azue
The Voice (Wrath)- Me la

A long dark hallway – richly ornamented with luxurious furnishings. At the end of the hallway is a big wooden door – carved in the most unique and distinctive carvings. Three men dressed in aristocratic demeanours can be seen walking towards the door. The Mastermind is wearing a set of slick black tuxedo. Initiate is wearing a white shirt with a necktie and a pair of dark-coloured trousers – accompanied by The Associate.


Initiate: Where is the meeting going to be? Where are you taking me? I demand an answer!

The Associate: (Trying to calm Initiate) Be patient Mr. President. Be patient.

The Mastermind: Yes, Mr. President. Listen to your boy – be patient. You’ll have the answer soon enough. Besides, you’re the one who agreed to do this in the first place (puts on an evil smile).

Initiate: I am a man of great importance. A minute of mine is more precious than a million hours of commoners like you. Patience is out of my option!

The Mastermind: Great importance huh? (Laughs a little) Well, maybe you’re right – you’re more than just a pawn now, but never forget this; you’re at where you are now because of us.

Initiate: (Grunts) Don’t get all superior with me! I’m the President! – P R E S I D E N T! And you? You? You’re just a supplement to my prominence!

The Associate: Be humble Mr. President. Be humble. Pride won’t take you anywhere. Just let him have his say with your feet on the ground.

Initiate looks cynically at The Associate.
The Mastermind: (Laughs out loud) Mr. President, Mr. President. That’s one amusing assistant you got there. He always manages to crack us up with his ignorance – but hey, you’re even more ignorant than him right? Still, that very same blind ignorance of yours is the reason why we have chosen you in the first place. That ignorance is going to keep us in power and all of our plans on track.

Initiate: Watch your tongue you little...

The Mastermind: (suddenly interrupts) Watch your tongue Mr. President. You may hold the power but we are the one who decide on everything. (Initiate silences) Never forget that!

The Associate: What does he mean by they’re the one who decide on everything? (Initiate does not respond) Mr. President, what does he mean?

The Mastermind: It basically means that we are the ones who decide how everyone should think and act! We are the ones who decide who prospers and who suffers! We are the ones who decide who to be president!

Initiate: (Furiously) Shut your pie holes!

The Mastermind laughs.

The Associate: I’m sorry.

The Mastermind: (talking to himself) Yes my Lord, of course. (A brief silence and suddenly laughs) Don’t worry my Lord; I’ll make sure of it.

Initiate: Who the hell are you talking to?

The Mastermind: Our Lord of course. He has doubts about you but don’t worry, I’ve convinced him that you’ll be one of us after this ‘epiphanic’ meeting (smiles).

Initiate looks cynically at The Mastermind.

Initiate: Since when is it our Lord? Cray old fool. I’d never agreed to anything more than what was written on the agreement paper.

The Associate: What are you talking about? Your Lord? Agreement papers? Why haven’t I been informed on anything regarding this matter? (No one answers) Mr. President?

Initiate: (Grunts) Stop being such a busybody, will you?!

The Associate: I’m sorry Mr. President – but...

Initiate: (Sighs) Just shut your mouth up!

The Mastermind: Be at peace Mr. President. Both of you will understand everything after this meeting- nothing to worry about (in a cynical tone).

Initiate: (Sighs heavily) Whatever, you old nut. I got a nation to run.

The Mastermind: Old nut? (Laughs)

Initiate: Of course nutsie. (Sarcastically) Talking to yourself – wow, very sane.

The Mastermind: He thinks I’m insane for talking to you my Lord (laughs again). Yes, I know (continues to laugh).

The three men reach the door.

The Mastermind: Okay, we are here.

Initiate: Just open the damn door.

The Associate: Be patient Mr. President.

The Mastermind: (Laughs) Like what he said - be patient Mr. President. Know this - behind this door, you’ll be introduced to the realm of reality. You’ll understand how this world really works. You’ll understand the sacrifices we have done to make this world a better place. You’ll understand how we’ve helped a lot of people to attain the eternal paradise – and of course, very soon, you’ll be a part of it.

The Associate: Mr. President, sorry to pry again but could you please tell me what’s going on? What did he meant Mr. President?

Iniate: (Sighs) And what makes you think I know what’s going on? I’m only here because of a stupid deal.

The Associate: A deal?

The Mastermind: (Suddenly interrupts) The deal that gave him the presidency.

The Associate: What do you mean?

The Mastermind: (Smiles) You’ll know soon enough.

The Mastermind opens the door and they enter a dark room. After a brief pause, the Chorus enters the hallway.


Chorus: I bring upon you the man of our nation,
God protected,
Has he let power to consume him – in liquid abyss he drowns,
Has he let wealth to devour him – in agonizing greed he suffocates,
Has he let lust to embrace him – in lustrous shades he burns;
A saviour in the eyes of his people,
Glorious leader unshaken by death – all hopes, all false;
A corrupt – defiled with tarred pride,
Sing me the propaganda in reverse,
A requiem to the living – Lacrimosa a smile.

A deal sealed by ignorance – in ignorance,
In claiming ignorant power,
The mind ignored,
And pride restored – wealth and power replanted,
On the soil of imaginary reality.

A door with mystery,
Led to by a man of mystery,
A Pandora’s Box? Perhaps,
Blank yet infinite questions with,
Unreasonably reasonable answers,
On a white paper – black in colour.

The Chorus exits the hallway and the hallway darkens. The dark room brightens up – revealing a meeting room with The Advocate, The Lady, The Hypocrite and The False Prophet along with Initiate, The Associate and The Mastermind.


The Mastermind: Gentlemen – and Lady, our awaited President is here.

The Advocate: (Sighs) Finally!

The Evolutionist: Welcome Mr. President.

The Hypocrite: Yes, welcome.

The Lady: Welcome, welcome. (Seductively) Have a seat Mr. President. I’ve saved one for you; right here beside me (winks and laughs).

The Mastermind and Initiate take their seats. The Associate stands behind Initiate.

The Mastermind: Now, let us proceed with our meeting. The agenda for today – the initiation of our Mr. President.

Initiate: (Simultaneously with The Associate) Initiation? Initiation into what?

The Associate: Initiation?

Everyone except Initiate, the Associate and the Advocate laughs.

The Advocate: You haven’t told him yet?

Initiate: Tell me what? What hasn’t he tell me dammit?

The Mastermind: (Ignoring Initiate) Well, it’s not that I didn’t want to tell him but the Lord believes that it’s better for you to tell him your parts yourselves.

The Advocate: Very well then. If that’s what the Lord wants, then I bear no objections.

Initiate: (Furiously) Can you tell me what the damn have I brought myself into?

The Advocate stands up and the room suddenly silences. The Advocate approaches Initiate’s seat.

The Hypocrite: (Cynically) Brace yourself Mr. President.

The Advocate: (Firmly) Mr. President, there are some questions from our side regarding your presidency that have been troubling us. (Initiate signals The Advocate to proceed with his question) During your future running as the president, would you really consider to contribute in religious fields?

Initiate: Well, I’m a great man - no doubts about that, but when it comes to religions, I may not be the most religious man – unlike my assistant here (everyone else makes uneasy expressions). Still, I think there’s no harm in contributing to religions - so, what the heck.

The Advocate: (Firmly) You’re not really answering - why do you want to help religions?

Initiate: (Murmurs) Well, ummm...

The Associate: Well, Mr. President here believes that faith in God is vital in developing a nation since
ultimately, God is the one who holds the authority to prosper a nation (everyone else feels

The Advocate: So the two of you believe in God eh? God? Heh.. Now tell me, why do you serve your so-
called God?

Initiate: Because God is our creator and we are his servants? Why are you asking this question anyways?

The Advocate: So you’re saying that we should serve God just because he created us? Just because he
created us? Seriously? That’s the only reason why we should serve him? So, even if God is evil, we still
have to serve him?

The Associate: What do you mean by even if God is evil?

The Advocate: (Chuckles) Your minds are too polluted by religion indeed. Haven’t you ever use your
brain to think for once? – about life, about your religion, about your so called God Almighty? You really
believe that God is a goody-two-shoe who cares for his creations? God loves us all? Open your eyes and
look around you. Tell me what doyou see? Diseases, deaths, wars, catastrophes – that’s what I see; and
supposedly God can do anything. Well, if God can do anything at his will and He loves us, why not stop
all of those from happening? Why can’t He just let us live happily? Why does He make evil exists? – easy,
God is evil!

Initiate: God is evil?

The Associate: No Mr. President, no. God is not evil. He asked - why does God make evil exists?
(Chuckles) Well, that’s quite a funny question actually because God never make evil exist. Evil is not even
real. Evil is the state where good is absent in mankind – and thus, evil is the product of mankind.

The Advocate: Oh, wow. Suddenly when it comes to something bad, mankind is the one to blame.
(Sarcastically) God created everything but not evil.

The Associate: Well, the concept is very similar to darkness – darkness is not really real. It is merely the
state where light is absent. So again, evil is not really real. It is merely the state where good is absent in
mankind. Thus, it is actually the act of mankind ourselves - turning away from good that results in the
‘existence’ of evil. Understand this: God does not have to do any evil to you. He can just move away
from you. Where there is no light, there is darkness.

Initiate: (Chuckles) So you can’t blame God for something man caused.

The Advocate: Man-made or not, God has the power to stop it doesn’t He? He is the so-called Almighty, isn’t He? – according to you anyways.

Initiate: Yes, yes. Why doesn’t He stop evil?

The Associate: Because everything in our life has its good and bad sides – even the so-called ‘evil’. Sometimes you have to be evil. For example; the act of killing. If you’re too good to even kill a chicken for your own meal, then you won’t be living at all. At this situation, you need to be ‘evil’ and see through your conscience. That’s why God doesn’t take away our evil side – because evil can be good at times. It’s what you do with your evil side that counts. God knows best.

The Advocate: If that’s the case, why bother create demons that tempt mankind to do ‘the evil side of evil’?

The Associate: Why not?

A long uncomfortable silence.

The Associate: Mr. President, who are these people again?

Initiate: Well, from what I recall, they introduced themselves as the people who govern the world.

The Mastermind: Indeed we are. We are the secret society that governs the world – trying to make it a better place, a place better than what God has created for us.

The Associate: Better than what God has created? That’s very sane but what does the president has anything to do with you people?

Everyone laughs except Initiate, The Associate and The Advocate.

The Associate: Mr. President?

Initiate stays silent.

The meeting room darkens and the Chorus reappears.



Chorus: I bring upon you the devil’s advocate,
Stirring new brews of doubts
In a holy cauldron of qualms - tainted,
Becometh the state of mind uncertain,
Becometh beliefs unclear – vaguely drifting,
By hollow stream and drags away.


A challenger of God,
He who believes but rejects – fulminating pride unveiling,
An exhibition of abhorrence,
A display of blasphemy,
Blaming God’s shadows – unreasonable,
Albeit given reasonable reasons.

The chorus exits and the meeting room brightens up again.


The Evolutionist: My boy, you won’t get any answers from your president. He knows nothing.

The Hypocrite: (Laughs) Yes, yes. Nothing. What do you think brought him here?

The Evolutionist: His ignorance of course!

Both The Evolutionist and The Hypocrite laugh out loud.

Initiate: (Furiously) Damn you! I’m not ignorant!

The Evolutionist and The Hypocrite laugh out loud again.

Initiate: (Hammers his hands on the table) You’re messing with the wrong...

The Associate: (Tries to calm Initiate down) Calm down Mr. President. Being angry doesn’t bring any good at all. It’ll only...

Initiate: Don’t be all preachy with me! I’m the President! - I own commoners like you!

The Associate: (Apologetic) I’m sorry Mr. President.

The Hypocrite: Don’t apologize to him boy. You have more brains than him (grins).

Initiate: (Furiously) Hey!

The Evolutionist: (Ignoring Initiate) But still not enough.

Initiate: (Continues to speak) Don’t underestimate my intelligence!

The Evolutionist: (Ignoring Initiate) It’s a waste though. I can see that you’re someone who actually uses brain but what a pity – you believe in God and religion. What a pity.

The Associate: How come...

Initiate: (Interrupts and signals to The Associate that he got it covered) How come believing in God and religion becomes a waste?

The Evolutionist: You’re serving a so-called God who is intangible – you can’t see him, you can’t hear him, you can’t touch him. So what makes you believe God exists? What makes Him real?

Initiate: The fact that we are here, the fact that we exist is proof enough that God exist. Who could have created us other than God, right?

The Evolutionist: Nice try Mr. President but don’t expect me – a scholar of science who believes in the principle of evolution to believe the craps they feed you from the so-called ‘Holy Books’.

The Associate: God really does exist and He does not need to be tangible to exist. Just like oxygen – you can’t see it, you can’t smell it, you can’t touch it – but you know it’s there, you know it exists, you know it’s real.

The Hypocrite: Nice one - a wise answer.

The Evolutionist: Yes - but it still does not really explain the possibility of God’s existence. I mean, you can compare God’s intangibility with other intangible particles but fairytales about God do not just stop at intangibility.

The Associate: And I guess when you say fairytales; you’re referring to the credibility of God as the divine creator?

The Evolutionist: You have one wise assistant here Mr. President.

Initiate: (Grunts) I guess.

The Evolutionist: But still not wise enough though – for believing that our existence is due to God’s doing is rather foolish!
The Associate: Foolish? And I guess you think your theory of evolution is an ingenious one?

The Evolutionist: What better answer to existence than evolution?

The Associate: Yes, I don’t deny your claim - evolution is a good answer to existence but it is only partially true.

The Evolutionist: Partially true? What are you trying to infer?

The Associate: Well, although creationists have never been in agreement with evolutionists, both of them do not realize that their theories are inter-related. Evolution is a creation.

The Evolutionist: Evolution is creation? (Chuckles) I bet you’ll try to justify creationism by saying that God is the one responsible for evolution? (Laughs) Classic theistic evolutionist, let me tell you this – evolution is not created, evolution itself creates.

The Associate: (Cynically) Evolution creates? Really? Tell me how then.

The Hypocrite: (Grins) I see someone’s getting too comfortable.

The Evolutionist: Evolution in general is the change of form. So, to make it simpler, let’s take an example of a frog egg. Frog eggs evolve into tadpoles and later on into frogs. Here, we can see that the evolution of frog eggs into tadpoles created tadpoles and the evolution of tadpoles into frogs created frogs. Hence, evolution creates. Easy right?

The Associate: But then again, where did that first frog egg come from? Evolution? Evolution from what? Well, that’s where creation plays its role. God created the first ever frog egg so that it can evolve into a frog. Hence, evolution is a part of creation.

The Evolutionist: Well, doesn’t that deviate from your so-called true teachings of religion? What about the supposed first ever human beings, Adam and Eve? According to creationists, God didn’t create them from sperms right?

The Associate: Yes, God did not create Adam and Eve from sperms but that still does not cancel out the compatibility of some parts of evolutionism with religions. (Laughs) What I don’t understand is that how does this deviate from religion? I never said that evolution is completely true – I said that evolution is partially true. Know this, no holy scriptures has ever mentioned or described how Adam and Eve looked like so there’s a big possibility that they don’t really look like us Homo sapiens - but of course, they’re definitely not monkeys (chuckles). In Muslims’ scripture, there’s even a story of a man with horns. Now that’s not very Homo sapiens right?

The Evolutionist: Still, even if evolution is compatible with religions, it still does not prove God’s existence right?

The Associate: But it also does not disprove His existence.

Initiate: (Suddenly interrupts) Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Shouldn’t this meeting be about me? How come suddenly it becomes science class? – and why does my assistant suddenly becomes a part of this meeting?

The Mastermind: Oh yes, the meeting (laughs). (Talking to himself and suddenly seems serious) What’s that my Lord? (Pause) No, no – don’t worry about him (pause). I’ll make sure of that.

Initiate: (Cynically) Who the hell are you talking to?

The Mastermind: Haven’t I told you already? I’m talking to our..

Initiate: (Suddenly interrupts) and please don’t say our Lord. You’re talking to yourself!

The Mastermind: Well, well, well. If I heard right, God does not need to be tangible to exist? Just because you can’t see or speak to our Lord, doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist (smiles wickedly).


I bring upon you the Evolutionist,
Wearing white deceit,
To indoctrinate deceit – pitch black,
The colour of mind malady – a syndrome,
A disease in the form of rhapsody,
He who preaches new ligaments of creed,
Amputating tendons considered as obsolete,
Self-driven, never guilt-stricken.


Arcane be his sanctum,
Manufacturing faux conflicts and clashes,
Orchestrating symphonies of divided aeon – a brood-mother,
Of progenies spawning in discrimination,
Blood spills and smiling faces – an ersatz vengeance, a triumph.


The Mastermind: Anyway, I think we need to proceed with our meeting now.

Initiate: (Making annoyed faces) Thank God!

The Mastermind: But I think your assistant should leave Mr. President.

Initiate: (Simultaneously with The Associate) Why the hell?

The Associate: Why is that?

The Hypocrite: The matters of which I am about to unveil is confidential.

The Mastermind: (Showing the door) If you could wait outside until the meeting ends?

Initiate: (As The Associate is about to walk towards the door) No! No! He leaves, I leave.

Initiate looks intensely at The Mastermind
The Mastermind: Persistent eh? Very well then. Let’s just proceed then.

Initiate puts on a satisfied look. The Mastermind signalled The Hypocrite to proceed.

The Hypocrite: Mr. President, being a man with religion; how do you view religions – I mean the major monotheistic religions; namely Islam, Christianity and Judaism?

Initiate: Being a believer of a monotheistic religion, I honestly do see corruptions in them – even my own. Islam is now a terroristic religion which has lose the sense of being tolerable and united, Christianity has always been notorious for its corrupted priests while Judaism is now a monopolistic religion which seems to be behind wars and treaties.

The Hypocrite laughs out loud.

The Hypocrite: Well, he has just proven what a good job I have done.

The Mastermind: Indeed he has (smiles wickedly).

Initiate: What are you trying to imply?

The Hypocrite laughs again.

Initiate: Tell me Goddamit!

The Associate: (Pats Initiate’s back) Patience Mr. President. Don’t let them get to you.

The Hypocrite: Mr. President, Mr. President. Haven’t you learnt anything?

Initiate and The Associate put on inquisitive looks.

The Hypocrite: Do you really think that coincidentally, corruptions happen in all monotheistic religions and very little happen in polytheistic religions?

Initiate: So you’re saying that...

The Associate: ...someone’s behind these corruptions?

The Hypocrite: Bingo!

Initiate: And I believe that you guys have something to do with it?

The Hypocrite: Bingo again! Mr. President, let me explain one thing. There’s one thing that the followers of these monotheistic religions do not realize; it is that their religions are originally the same. Christianity, Judaism, Islam; all these religions originally convey one same message – that is to worship the one same God.

Initiate: What the hell are you talking about? Their Gods are not the same. Muslims serve Allah, Christians serve Jesus and Jews serve Adonai or YHWH.

The Hypocrite: (Laughs) Mr. President, Mr. President. You still can’t solve the puzzle?

Initiate: What puzzle?

The Associate: He’s trying to tell you that they’re the ones responsible in dividing Muslims, Christians and Jews. They’re the ones responsible in corrupting these three religions.

Initiate: But I still don’t understand; how come these religions are originally the same?

The Hypocrite: Oh Mr. President. (Chuckles) Think about it, these religions are so similar fundamentally – they even have scriptures that bear quite some similarities – the Torah, the Bible and the Quran.

Initiate: Those scriptures? They’re not the same.

The Hypocrite: Okay now, tell me, in all these three Books, which of them does not tell the story of Noah? (Initiate silences) Which of them does not tell the story of Adam? (Initiate silences) Which of them does not tell the story of Moses?

Initiate: None of them?

The Hypocrite: Yes, all of them have the stories of the same people.

The Associate: But then again, most of the stories are in different versions.

The Hypocrite laughs out loud.

Initiate: Because you changed the stories!

The Hypocrite: Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! (Continues to laugh)

The Associate: But why?

The Hypocrite: These books – the Torah, the Bible, the Quran are too dangerous for mankind.

Initiate: What do you mean? Dangerous?

The False Prophet: Your God has set up a so-called guideline in these scriptures and those who are sane enough would know that it is impossible for us, mankind to follow this guideline.

Initiate: Wait, wait. What’s so ridiculous about this guideline?

The Hypocrite: What’s so ridiculous you ask me? (Laughs) Well, the guideline generally opposes human nature – that’s what ridiculous.

Initiate: Such as?

The Hypocrite: (Laughs) I need to spell out one by one for you, don’t I? (Laughs again) Well, consider this logic; God is the one who created us with anger and hate, but then in his scriptures, he forbids us from being angry and vengeful towards others. Isn’t that ridiculous? Why bother create anger as one of our basic instincts if it something forbidden? Why not just create us without anger?

The Associate: But in his guidelines, God also wants us to love and help each other. That does not sound opposing to human nature right?

The Hypocrite: Yes, but...

The Associate: And I don’t think there’s any harm in controlling our hatred. If anyone can deny that controlling hatred is beneficial, then come forth – but I know no one can. I mean, human right is one thing but laws and order is no less important – and this is the Divine Law.

The Hypocrite: Yes, yes, I get your point but can everyone control their anger?

The Associate: Well, that depends since...

The Hypocrite: It’s a fact boy - not everyone can control their anger; and for those who can’t, they will be breaking the so-called Divine Law – and you know what happens to those who break His Law right? Yes, they will be condemned to eternal suffering – the Hell. That’s why we have taken the measure to save all mankind by corrupting these scriptures!

Initiate: (Simultaneously with The Associate) What the Hell?

The Associate: How can corrupting God’s scriptures become the salvation for mankind?

The Hypocrite: Boo-hoo and supposedly you’re the ones with religions. (Laughs) Have you ever even read these Books? – I mean really read as in knowing their contents. (Initiate and The Associate look annoyed and The Hypocrite continues to laugh) In His Books, God states that those who do bad deeds unintentionally will not be punished since deeds are based on intentions. So, by corrupting His scriptures, no one will know that the bad deeds they are doing are in fact bad deeds – hence, no one will be doing bad deeds intentionally! Thus, no one, regardless of what they have done will be punished unnecessarily by our cruel tyrant you call God! (Sighs and laughs)

Initiate: (Hesitantly) That actually sounds pretty convincing though.

The Mastermind, The Evolutionist and The Lady grins. The Hypocrite laughs.

The Associate: Mr. President, don’t let yourself get deceived.

Initiate: Yes, yes. Of course not. (Pause) Of course not.

The Hypocrite: (Cynically) So what’s your say about the efforts we have made in corrupting God’s scriptures and saving mankind Mr. Assistant? – Your president doesn’t seem to object (laughs).

The Associate stays silenced and The Hypocrite continues to laugh.

The Hypocrite: Nothing to say Mr. Assistant? I guess that means we’re right then.

The Mastermind: Such a disappointment. Such a disappointment.

A brief pause and suddenly The Associate start to speak.

The Associate: It’s not that I don’t have the answer but the answer is beyond your comprehension and mine as well perhaps. It overpasses human logic and I know you won’t accept or believe something which is out of logic.

The Mastermind: Who says we don’t believe things out of logic? (Grins)

The Associate: What do you mean?

The Hypocrite: Have we ever once claimed that we don’t believe in God’s existence? We believe in God and everything. It’s just that we chose to go against Him because we believe he’s not the rightful God - our God doesn’t necessarily be our creator at the same time.

The Associate: Don’t you think that one who creates knows what He created the best? Who is more rightful than the creator himself to be God then?

The Mastermind: The true God – the one who sees all!

The meeting room darkens and the Chorus enters the meeting room.



Chorus: I bring upon you the Hypocrite
Bringing dogma to a new dawn – distorted,
The art of man – corrupted,
Clouding God’s words – an indigenous laceration,
A quasi putrefaction of truth.


Demiurge be the God,
With image stained and tainted,
Reflected by false pages - beautified,
Of lies enshrouded – bearing disbelief,
Divine stigma becometh the God,
And believers turn away,
The pit of malice ascending

The chorus exits and the meeting room brightens up again.


The Lady: (Breaks the silence) Come on now everyone, I think you guys should loosen up a little bit. All this talk about God and all is making me sleepy weepy.

The Advocate: Go home and sleep please. No one wants you to come anyway.

The Lady: (Sticks her tongue out) Meanie weenie! Anyway Mr. President, I’m sure you’re getting tired of this ‘not fun’ meeting right? (Suddenly stands up and clears her throat) Well, attention everyone, can we take a break so that we can have some fun for a while?

The Hypocrite laughs.

Initiate: Fun?

The Mastermind: (In an annoyed tone) Oh Lord, what are you doing?

The Advocate: There she goes again.

The Lady: Okay, good – everyone agrees. Let’s play a game then(smiles).

Initiate: A game? Seriously? Now?

The Lady: Of course I’m serious, silly. (Giggles) So what do you like to play? (Seductively) Strip poker? (Shows poker cards) Spin the bottle? (Shows a bottle and winks) What do you do for fun Mr. President?

The Advocate: Where the hell did you get those things?

The Lady sticks her tongue out again.

Initiate: What about Simon Says?

The Lady: Yes, yes, wow, very interesting – not! (Giggles and stares into the emptiness for a while) I got it! – let’s play truth or dare! (Giggles) Me first! Me first!

The Advocate: Like anyone else is interested.

The Lady sticks her tongue out.

The Lady: I choose (pause for a while) dare! Bring it on baby (winks).

Initiate: Should I dare you to do something now?

The Lady: (Giggles) Of course silly, ask me to do anything. (Seductively) Anything (winks).

Initiate: Ummmmm... I dare you to...

The Associate whispers to Initiate. Initiate smiles.

Initiate: Ahah, I dare you to tell me what I have brought myself into with the deal?

The Lady: (Looks here and there and smiles) That’s your dare? Okay then. We want to use you as our puppet in making our plan a reality. Satisfied?

Initiate: Only that? (Laughs)

The Lady: Okay now, it’s your turn- truth or dare? (Smiles wickedly)

Initiate: Truth.

The Lady: (Giggles) Now tell me truthfully, would you like a world without God? - a world without rules or restraints? A world where you are the sole master to your own actions, a world where you are the God to yourself (her face lightens up).

Initiate silences.

The Associate: A world without God? (Laughs) Stop being delusional. It’s impossible.

The Lady: (Giggles) I’m not talking about its possibility silly, I’m asking whether you’d like it or not (Smiles).

The Associate: (Firmly) I won’t like it – and neither will the president.

The Lady: Awww – and you expect me to believe that? How cute

The Associate: (Laughs) Of course we won’t like it. Why? It’s because what you’re proposing is ignorantly foolish actually. Yes, without God, the world won’t have any rules or restraints but if we think again, what will the world be left with if there is no God? There won’t be any rules or restraints but then again, there will also be no world. What’s left to like? (Laughs)

The Lady: Fair enough (smiles).

Initiate: That’s it? No further debates or arguments?

The Lady: Well, I don’t really like to argue – I really don’t. I prefer living happily and enjoying life the way I like it to the fullest (smiles).

The Associate: Only life? What about death?

The Lady: I don’t think about it (smiles) because the day our Lord becomes the real God, death will be a myth.

The Associate: You’re keeping your hopes too high for an uncertainly impossible future. This Lord of yours is not even real. It’s impossible.

The Lady: Impossible? Well, to you it might sound impossible but not to us, not to our so-called unreal Lord - He sees all. He has seen the future and believe me, it really is possible. (Without anyone even has the chance to talk) I mean, why are you even defending God? God has created us to test our devotion towards him – well, that’s according to religions anyways. Then, after millions of years testing millions and billions of human beings, He is going to destroy us all in one single day. Your all-loving God who is supposedly the most merciful is going to destroy His creations in just one day! Is our existence so worthless that He wants to destroy us all in just one day? Are we that worthless to Him? (Tears up) Sorry, I’m being a little bit emotional.

Initiate: Well, I don’t know about that but still, there’s nothing we can do about it – the Judgment Day is inevitable.

The Lady: (Emotionally) Who says it’s inevitable? Who says we can’t stop God from destroying us? We can prevent that horrible day from coming by giving our Lord his rightful place as the real God! We can prevent that day from happening by making the New World Order or Novus Ordo Seclorum a reality!

The Associate:

The meeting room darkens again – leaving only The Lady to be visible. The Chorus enters.



Chorus: I bring upon you the Lady in Red,
An enchantress; docile but unruly,
Tempting through scarlet satisfaction,
A representation of cunning pleasure – transitory,
Static; contentment – illusory.


Martyr of the unfair world – unlock,
And open the door to self divinity,
Realize that we are our own God – liberated,
Becometh wealth our body,
Becometh power our soul.

The chorus exits and the meeting room brightens up again.


Initiate: So, this Lord of yours, where is He now?

The Mastermind: Where is our Lord you ask me? He’s with us of course.

Initiate: (Furiously) Dammit, can’t you understand? I’m asking you, where is your Lord at this very moment?

The Mastermind: I’ve told you right? He’s with us. (Laughs)

The room suddenly turns darker.

The Voice: (Suddenly becomes audible) (Laughs).

Initiate: (Frightened) Who the hell’s that?

The Voice: Don’t you know who I am?

Initiate: Who are you?

The Voice: You really don’t know who I am?

The Associate: Don’t listen to that thing Mr. President!

The Voice: I’m the one who sees all.

The Associate: Stop listening to that thing Mr. President.

The Voice: Believe in my words – bow down to me; and I will award you with paradise.

The Initiate seems to be mesmerized by something beautiful.

Initiate: I believe, I believe...

The Associate: No, Mr. President, no!

The Voice: Go against me; and I will punish you with eternal damnation!

The Associate: I will not obey!

The Voice: Then suffer!

The Associate seems to be in great pain. He collapses and dies.

The Mastermind, The Advocate, The Hypocrite, The False Prophet and The Lady laugh out loud and leave the meeting room. Initiate is left alone in the room in a kneeling position.


Initiate: Oh, ethereal entity of divinity,
You come forth – bearing serpentine offerings,
A serrated serotonin – disguised in the semblance of self-selection,
An elusive spectral illusory.


Chorus: The promised future aeon – challenged,
In replacing the throne of divinity – a divine conspiracy,
Indoctrinated minds – the gateways to the dawn of dogma,
The gateways to self trinity – unlocked, unchained, undressed,
You are your own sole creator.

Initiate: I am a fallen man – a servant of the all-seeing!


Chorus: The deceptive essence of appearance,
A wicked kindness, a malevolent benevolence,
A bright darkness, an illuminated obscurity,
Salvation-coated deviancy – a battle to prevail,
To begin an ending or end a beginning.

The curtain closes.